You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you. Song 4:7

It is vital that you believe he is ravished with your love.{Song 4:9} First Christ, and then your spouse. For me, this meant accepting that Mary Kay just wasn’t for me. Peddling it, that is. Early in our marriage I had decided that I should try my hand at Mary Kay. I used, at least, a few of the products. And it was a Christian company. Apparently, that was a winning combo for success. Or so I thought.

Joe did not buy my sales pitch. “I really don’t think this is for you,” was his immediate response. Hmph!! I mean, had he even prayed about it?! Never mind that I honestly had not. It wasn’t a leading of the Lord that led me on my quest. It wasn’t even a pink Cadillac. Curiosity mixed with a little encouragement and I ran with it. My consultant was an amazing woman. She made selling lipstick look easy and glamorous. I’m not even sure I’m glamorous. But I was on board. Or at least trying to be when Joe shut me down. I was mad. No, I was hot. And I don’t mean Mary Kay glam hot. I was determined and I had at least one Mary Kay Director dragging me along for the ride.

The enthusiastic director had treated me to breakfast one morning when she had instinctively read my mail. “You’re kinda’ spoiled, aren’t you,” she said through grins. I might’ve blushed a little. {Who needs the make-up when the Christian director boldly reads your mail?!} But I knew she was right. I am spoiled. In part, I would say that I have learned who I am and I know I am blessed. I know the love of Abba Father. I’ve been showered by my own father. And my husband indeed spoils me.

The director was pouring a foundation for me to sell their foundation.

A local event was in the works and my consultant had invited me to come along. What was the harm? I mentioned it to Joe. He didn’t discourage me, although he might’ve raised an eyebrow of suspicion. And so, I planned to go.

The director had given me the skinny on the event. Ladies invited would be asked to come up front and introduce themselves. One lady would be selected among the guests to win a huge gift basket of goodies courtesy of Mary Kay. I was advised in detail on how to dress, down to the accessories. Joe willingly let me shop for a new outfit. {What was he thinking?!} I bought a black pin-striped dress with a jacket, a woman’s equivalent of a man’s suit. And all the while, as I prepared for this event, I declared, “if I win this thing, that’ll be confirmation that I should become a Mary Kay Consultant. But if I lose, I’ll know you’re shutting the door, Lord.” My Mary Kay fate was hanging in the balance, determined by my introduction at a local event; or so I thought.

The day of the event arrived and I was prepared, at least, by way of attire, handbag, and accessories. I would get dressed, fix my hair, and drive to my consultant’s home where she would make me Mary Kay ready. I began the simple, turned stressful, task of fixing my hair. Irritability had risen, frustration tipped the scales, and a full temper tantrum followed. My hair wouldn’t cooperate with perfection and I might’ve hurled a hairbrush across the bathroom. Eloquent profanity may have also rolled right off my tongue. Joe had tried, with his calming nature, to put out the fire. But it raged on. All the while, my daughter, Courtney, then 9, was around the corner listening.

Out of time, I gathered my hairspray and inferior tools of hair perfection and off I went to my consultant’s home. I arrived flustered, but managed to maintain my composure. As my consultant went to work perfecting my beauty with her Mary Kay products, Joe called my cell phone. Very calmly, he explained that Courtney needed to hear my voice. She was upset when I left because she thought that Joe and I had been fighting. My rage had appeared as the equivalent of a two-person fight. Insert heavy sigh. My heart sank. Revelation was slowly washing over me. But for the moment, I assured Courtney that her Joedaddy and I were not fighting and apologized for my hair-tastrophe temper tantrum. And then I reluctantly prepared for the event.
Enthusiasm was waning by the time we had arrived. I surveyed the small gathering and noted a handful of women competing for the coveted prize eyed on a small table. It had lost its appeal. But I had come this far, no turning back. A cute, bubbly blonde walked up announcing herself before she spoke her first word. Her smile was charming, her words inviting; but she had on jeans. And as I recalled, that was not the Mary Kay way. I had a new outfit with just the right accessories speaking for me. Clearly, this girl did not have a director advising her. I wasn’t giving up just yet. My turn had come. All I had to do was walk to the front of the group and introduce myself. But I was a bundle of nerves. I don’t recall what I said, only that it was choppy and matter-of-fact. I do recall the wave of relief when I sat back down. I’m sure I knew what was coming. And I just wanted to get back home, wash off my Mary Kay, and hug my daughter. The announcement came. Miss Bubbly Blonde and her jeans scored the coveted gift basket. I’m pretty sure I turned a new shade of Mary Kay red. The advising director strolled over to gently console me. “It was so close,” she said. {No. No, it wasn’t.} “You looked the part. But it was clear you were nervous. She had more confidence.”

On the ride home, the previous days replayed like a movie reel in slow motion. That particular night had replaced previous weeknights at prayer meetings. Nights where I’d come home with a holier than thou air. If only I could get Joe to join me at prayer meetings, he, too, could be like me. *shudder* Earlier that night, I had spewed such venom. James 3:11 asks how the same fountain can spew forth both sweet and bitter water. How could I flow tongues of fire one night and profanity another? It is a mystery, I’ll tell you. Painful, yet healing, revelation continued to flow. I had asked the Lord for a confirmation of His plan and blessing regarding my Mary Kay venture. Confirmation came. But the truth is, He had already answered me through Joe. Plain and simple, He had led me and I just wouldn’t have it. I was too Mary Kay proud to see or hear it.

Pride is ugly; and Mary Kay cannot fix it.

The next day I invited Joe to meet me for lunch. I apologized for my stubbornness, pride, and temper tantrum. “You’ve been so calm through all of this,” I admired.

“You need to understand something about me,” he said. “If I win the lottery, that’s great. I’m happy. If a tree falls on the roof, that’s okay too. I try to be happy no matter what.”

In that moment, he was far more attractive than I ever could be in Mary Kay glam. I soaked up his words. “I don’t think you realize that you’re showing Godly character,” I shared.

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Philippians 4:12

Joe’s beautiful example of Christ’s character helped refine me. As the head, he had tried to cover me in this situation. Closing the door on Mary Kay, I explained via phone call to the director that my husband had advised me that he didn’t feel that Mary Kay was for me. Her response proved to further confirm this. “Well, if you’re going to let something like that stop you,” she said, “maybe Mary Kay just isn’t for you.”

Truth! Well-meaning Christians should never trump the lead of our husbands. Whether he is right or wrong, our submitting to his lead will enable the working of the Lord to direct him in every single detail.

The process of our sanctification in marriage is beautifully explained in Ephesians 5. It results in glorious and radiant beauty, without flaw. It exceeds the beauty Mary Kay can provide. It’s truly ravishing. And every woman receives her own beautiful basket full of goodness and fruit. Even if she’s wearing jeans.

And to the husbands, you are to demonstrate love for your wives with the same tender devotion that Christ demonstrated to us, his bride. For he died for us, sacrificing himself to make us holy and pure, cleansing us through the showering of the pure water of the Word of God. All that he does in us is designed to make us a mature church for his pleasure, until we become a source of praise to him—glorious and radiant, beautiful and holy, without fault or flaw. Ephesians 5:25-27