It rained on April 18, 1998. We were married on my mother-in-law’s deck on the Amite River in Port Vincent. I remember thinking—choosing to believe—it was symbolic of showers of blessing. That’s exactly what I thought that day in May 1987 when my high school class of 260ish crammed into the gym for our commencement ceremony while rain pelted the roof.

The absence of rain does not a successful ceremony or wedding day make. The success of an outdoor wedding is not contingent upon blue skies and sunshine. Oh, it’s certainly welcomed! It’s a blessing indeed. But if the ceremony is ruined due to rain then I’d say many marriages were doomed from the start. Who wants to reflect back on their special day with gloom? To me, Saturday, April 18, 1998 was not a grey day. In fact, the sun’s rays eventually broke through and prevailed. But my dad walked me with LSU umbrella in hand to the Man waiting. A man shaking in his wedding shoes but never mind that. The Man, was, after all, about to begin the life of a family man—instant father of two.

Likewise, the absence of the storms of life does not a solid marriage make. They may strain, threaten damage, or even wreak havoc. But they will prove to be the greatest of blessings for the man and wife who choose to huddle together under the protective umbrella of the Almighty. He is the sure foundation from all storms. Tried and true!

Within the first few years of our marriage, Joe and I were prayed over along with Cammie and  Courtney. As the Word of the Lord was spoken over us, one thing in particular stood out. The Lord would make the two of us to mesh together, “like wax.” This has always stayed with me. Through seasons of stress and struggle I would cling to this. Two candles burning together as one, flame glowing brightly. Who doesn’t want this? What I hadn’t considered was what it might take to bring this to pass. Wax won’t melt without heat.

Candle on the window sill

For fifteen years we’ve had our share of celebrations. We’ve made some amazing memories together as a couple as well as a family. Vacationing at Six Flags, Busch Gardens, Sea World, Disney World, Cozumel and Cancun Mexico, Cheaha Mountain, Stone Mountain, and more; not to mention the glorious beaches. We can look back through the pages of photo albums {at least for a few years, then we turn to digital files} and reflect on the moments, bask in the nostalgia.

We continue to rejoice over the gift of life in Sophie. Successful tubal reversal, miracle from God. We rejoice over our first grandson and are honored and blessed by the work of the Lord in the lives of our girls. God has blessed us. And even as a family we recognize that our strongest bonds are often made through adversity. Oldest daughter is currently overseas, deployed. These are the things, the seasons, that we must choose—we let them break us orr we choose to allow Him to work in them.

But the past couple of years have been a season of struggle within our marriage. The Refiner’s fire will draw to the surface that which has remained unseen for years. How else can dross be skimmed away lest it rise to the surface? But in this process is where we have found a closeness that we’d never known. The heat was turned up. “Like wax” two people melt, mesh together as one.

Brutal is the attack on marriage. The union chosen by God to reflect the relationship between Christ and His Church is facing some of its fiercest battles. Our marriage has certainly not been immune. But we are a testimony every single day of the grace and the power of our Lord. I’ve learned more over the past couple of years about the principles of God than I have my entire life. They work. God’s plan is simple. We complicate it.

I read through mine and Joe’s journal today. We started it a year ago Valentine’s Day. Reading our journal entries for specific days, I noticed a common thread. When we drew near to the Lord, prayed for each other, with each other, talked things out—we were closer. When we either took ease in Zion or strayed from the basic principles within marriage—not so much.

The answer to a solid marriage is no new thing. It’s simply truth. And it works.

Women need to feel loved and secure.

Men need to be respected.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it ~ Ephesians 5:22, 25

So there it is. Simple truth that works and will blow your mind if you will just allow the Spirit of God to work in you. We are living proof. And you know what? It’s absolutely worth it.

The thing about surrendering your marriage to God and allowing Him to work in you means you’ve already won the battle. You’ve already found freedom regardless of what the circumstances are. And what’s even more amazing is that God in all of His faithfulness will do something so beautiful that it will astound you.

Of all the memories Joe and I have made over the past fifteen years, all the things we’ve done and places we’ve seen, I’m most grateful for the past two years of struggle. Because the wax has been melted and we truly are one.

Happy 15th Anniversary, Joe! I love you more every single day!!!