Dear US Department of Commerce,

I received my letter informing me that my 2010 Census form is on the way.

I understand you’ll want to know how many people live in my home.   Do I count my son-in-law?  He’ll be overseas fighting for our country.   He may come home for a short time in July but he’ll head right back to foreign soil afterward.

I hope that doesn’t confuse you.  I’m sure most homes will be reporting correctly the number of people in their homes.  So no worries on an inaccurate count.

It’s not like people are illegally crossing our borders by the millions.  Besides, if they were, what are the odds that many of them would secretly want to harm us?

Just wanted to be sure and clear this issue up so we can all sleep better at night.

You do speak English, don’t you?

An American Citizen