With more determination than ever I entered the Christmas season prepared to focus on realistic gift giving. This year would be different. Scaling back was not just a mindset to keep Christ center—it was a necessity. Finances strained from a rough summer would dictate the boundaries. We made our list and checked it twice but you just can’t give what you don’t have.

Stories of financial frustration abound this Christmas season. Friends and family concerned for our precious little ones and the desire to bless and give are weary and desperate. Prayer requests abound. But you just can’t give what you don’t have.

I’ve prayed for many and I’ve felt their heartache and frustration. Once again, I’ve battled the temptation to give in to the hustle and bustle and have wound up with a mess of stress. But the reality is that we can do our best and even try to give within reason but we just can’t give what we don’t have.

In addition to the financial lack, families are struggling in so many areas. Marital stress, family feuds and drama erupting on the eve of Advent cause rifts in relationships. Instead of preparing for time to give even if the smallest of gifts and love and laugh, family parties are canceled, changed and shifted to “get us through.” Loved ones hurt, guarded and defensive will surely struggle to give hope for the upcoming new year because you just can’t give what you don’t have.

I’m learning that preparing our hearts for Christ whose lowly birth was the greatest gift ever given can be a struggle if we let it. But we don’t have to. We can prepare our children for the reality of what we might give in the name of Santa and willingly accept that it is enough. We can determine to share the purest of joy that comes with receiving the Christ child because He is always more than enough. Always. But we must take time to surrender the stress of what we simply cannot control or attain to receive His peace. We must prepare our hearts for the joy that only the gift of Christ can give because we just can’t give what we don’t have.

Our stubbornness to give what we feel is adequately enough often causes us to stretch our limitations and plummet further financially and reckoning day arrives the first of the year. But why do we do it? In the name of love, giving, the so called spirit of Christmas? If only we’d spend less time pushing the gifts and more time teaching to serve, leading by example, maybe our children would grasp the meaning of sacrifice and service. Because they just can’t give what they don’t have. Forgive me, Lord.

I’ve spent the better part of the past week struggling with anger. When heartache comes so unnecessarily, when it could have been avoided, should never have happened, well, then, anger is justifiable. But even righteous anger needs to be surrendered and directed by the One who tells us to be angry and sin not. Heartache at Christmas time can seem much more painful simply because of the season in which it lands. But even in heartache we have a choice. We have a responsibility to do what He requires. Love. Because love covers. I’m tenaciously seeking Him during this season. And though I may stumble and fall, I am determined to surrender even this hard thing. I am determined to seek His wisdom and I’m determined to love. But except I surrender my emotion, how will I find peace? How will I share His love? Because I just can’t give what I don’t have.

For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. ~ Isaiah 9:6

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. ~ Luke 2:11-12

In a humble, lowly place, love came down.

May we bow low this Christmas in surrender to receive the joy of Christ. And then, may we freely give what we’ve been given.

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. ~ Luke 2:13-14