The Daily Mercies: Letting Go And Moving Forward
Ginger and I had an awesome time in the Presence of the Lord this weekend. Laura invited us to the Dream Big Women’s Conference at her church—River of Life Worship Center.
This is my third time attending their yearly conference, and it gets better every time! I’m still soaking in the awesome work of the Holy Spirit. What perfect timing! For my first post of our new meme, I’d like to share a glimpse of the Lord’s work in me this past weekend.
As the speakers reflected on dreams past, present and future, the reality of my dreams past rose to the surface. Prior to the conference, I had an unexpected season of grief over the failure of my first marriage—namely, the effects that it had on my children. After searching for baby pictures of Courtney, I became almost panicked. I have so many pictures of Sophie…in my digital camera, on my cell phone, files and files on my computer, on discs, on walls, in albums. But Cammie and Courtney’s father and I separated before scanners and digital cameras and even computers were a must in most households. Through tears, we divided every picture we had of the girls. Of course, now that this has surfaced, scanning and sharing pics is an obvious solution. But those baby pictures of Courtney—or lack thereof—reminded me of the awful pain that a failed marriage can have on children.
But God is an on-time God! (YES, HE IS!) As He spoke through His servants, I was reminded of Philippians 3:13. The past belongs behind me. I cannot reach my future dreams unless I let go of my past dreams. Laura gave an awesome illustration of her youngest daughter climbing monkey bars. As her daughter moved from one bar to the next, one arm let go of the bar behind her in order to move forward to the bar in front of her. What a beautiful picture she painted of letting go in order to move forward! The healing after my divorce took place over a period of several years. He blessed me beyond my dreams through my husband, Joe. The theme verse for the conference sums it up:
Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us… Ephesians 3:20
But He who began a good work in me is faithful to complete it. This weekend, I choose to let go of my past failed dreams and the baggage that goes along with them. I will press on.
But He wasn’t through there. Something else was required of me. Forgiveness. (Not necessarily regarding my first marriage.) Once again, the Holy Spirit spoke to me through his servant, “you cannot fulfill your dreams if you are angry with someone else.” It’s amazing how much pollution we allow to enter our hearts through unforgiveness. In reference to the woman with the issue of blood, Laura said, “where there is an issue, there if often a flow.” Ain’t that the truth?
The Spirit of God tugged at my heart, nudging me to let go of those feelings that I’d convinced myself I had a right to feel, let alone hold onto. Christ has given us the ministry of reconciliation (II Corinthians 5:17-19). He has freely forgiven me of so much. This weekend, I choose to forgive and let go of those feelings that have crept in like little foxes to spoil my vine (Song 2:15).
As I press on to the future dreams that Christ has for me, I stand on the following Scripture that was not only spoken during this weekend’s conference, but also by mother-in-law the day my divorce was final:
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
Pressing on to bigger dreams…
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