Struggle
Some days seem to be a thread of never ending struggle. Today was one of those days. Laden with burdens of yesterday I hadn’t fully cast off, physically drained, emotionally spent, frustrated with self, I struggled. Add to that today’s new battles. Insert struggle.
Just six days into the year. Six days into the year I decided, nay, declared, I would surrender come what may. After all, no man knows what a day brings forth (Proverbs 27:1). Ultimately I will surrender. Always. I must. If not, well, then I’m stuck. And then I carry it all over into the next day. Or a portion of it. Only to find that eventually I’m going to choose surrender.
But in the midst of it all we can so easily lose site of the bigger picture. I did today.
I see faces of people silently crying out for help. I hear the desperation in typed words and I want to speak Truth into their lives, their circumstances. But my flesh nearly falters for listening to the lies of the enemy. How can I help? Stumble, stumble, trip. How can I help them get back up?
I run to Him with reckless abandon. I find my only safe place. Our only safe place. And for very love of Him, for love of them, I determine to surrender my all once again. And then I am able to stand for them. Strong in the power of His might. His grace, His love is unfailing. I stand firmly on the Truth and refuse to wait for anything more. Not emotion stirred, not His undeniable Presence. Not instantly changed circumstances. Just Truth. Like the lifting of a veil, He will sometimes make His Presence known. And in ways that I just cannot comprehend, His grace, too, will show up and shower me. It’s too great for words.
You, reading this, you know what I’m talking about.
There is no place too difficult, no road too long, no sin too dark. Nothing, impossible. Not even today. So with unanswered questions, not yet healed wounds, with uncertainty and heartache, I will surrender.This is what He’s asking of me. Struggle never works, never profits anything. So tonight, I surrender. Peace like a river floods my soul. Determination rises and I stand in the gap.
For you.
. . . weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. ~Psalm 30:5b
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