July 30th will mark 20 years of the rocking horse. Cammie’s Dad and I bought it for her first birthday from a man in Walker. The wooden horse has stood the test of multiple children throughout the years—first Cammie, then Courtney, my nieces and nephews and children I’ve “Nanny-sat” throughout the years. Then Sophie came along and claimed it all her own. And then came Gavin.

Its solid wood durability and personalized blue letters are the least of what makes this horse special. For twenty years it’s been part of our home[s] and countless memories made. The thought of it moving along one day never occurred to me. But then came Gavin. Gavin—the son of the original rocking horse owner. Of course it would be passed along to him.

I’ve spent the past hour or so digging through photos of the rocking horse for this post. From Cammie’s first birthday until now there are photos of so many different children on that horse. I intended to post some of them here but I’m fighting enough emotion just to write this blog post.

Yesterday the horse was moved from our home to Cammie and Trey’s apartment. We knew this would happen soon. Well, at least I did. I tried to prepare Sophie and so far she hasn’t made much of a fuss in spite of her rocking during T.V. watching over the past several months. It had turned into a rocking chair/stunt horse it would seem. Preparing Joe wasn’t something I anticipated. But the first mention of the horse soon departing sent him into denial. According to him, Cammie just couldn’t take that horse. After all, of late, Sophie seemed to be stuck to it like Velcro. I don’t know if his attachment was strictly because of Sophie, but today it finally hit me as well.

Cammie posted pictures on facebook of the rocking horse in Gavin’s room and suddenly a world of emotion welled up in me. What would appear to be the returning of a beloved toy to its original owner has become the reality of a daughter grown and married, mother of one. A rocking horse has symbolized the reality of my oldest soon turning 21—the age I was when I had her. I’ve been asked how hard it was when Cammie moved out. Each time I’ve answered honestly. It was a mix of emotion but mostly hope and excitement for her future. Leaving and cleaving is God’s plan and I knew all along it was best for them as a family as well as our household.

But today is different.

Today, the realization of 21 years of parenting and one daughter gone and another about to graduate high school hit me hard. It’s amazing how much a wooden rocking horse can represent. The funny thing is that the slight sadness felt on behalf of Sophie’s loss of the horse is also coupled with the sobering thought of another 13 plus years of parenting. Heavy sigh.

So many memories made throughout the years. I’ll miss that rocking horse being part of our home. But when I look again at these pictures . . . I’m reminded that there are many more years of memories to be made on that horse with Gavin. And who knows who else.