Disappointment. It would seem it’s raged an all out war for first place theme over the past year of my life. I’ve been disappointed. Unexpectedly, I want to say, as if disappointment should come some other way. In other areas, repeatedly.

I’ve also disappointed. Over and over again. Repeatedly, but also one person after another. Not intentionally, but I have. The weight of knowing you disappoint can be heavier than that of being disappointed. Except maybe when you’re disappointed in yourself. It can crush you if you let it.

Wikipedia describes disappointment as the feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations or hopes to manifest. Merriam-Webster’s definition of disappoint is:  to fail to meet the expectation or hope of : FRUSTRATE. It lists contentment as an antonym for disappointment.

Contentment as an antonym. That certainly struck a chord with me. I’ve been deliberately counting gifts past one thousand and still counting. I’d determined to take in the moments and count my blessings and find joy. Yet I sit shocked that life’s disappointments would show up at my doorstep to thwart me? And shocked even more to find that I’ve left one after the other disappointed with me. That part is certainly humbling to say the least.

I read the following statement recently on Ann Voskamp’s blog, author of One Thousand Gifts, and I hope it will forever be etched upon my soul:

God uses people who do disappoint to point to a God who never disappoints.

If I haven’t already, I will let you down. Not necessarily intentionally but I will. You just might let me down, too. Sometimes we’ll need to humble ourselves. Sometimes feelings will need to be validated. But what I’m learning about disappointment is that ultimately we’ll need to surrender it. We’ll need to surrender our right to it. Because the longer we cradle it the more it will grow. And sometimes the ugly truth is that we grow it into sin.

Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;~ Hebrews 12:15

Incidentally, I’m reading The Resolution for women by Priscilla Shirer and I’m stuck in the first part of the book on resolving to be content. If we’re going to resolve to be content—if I’m going to resolve to be content—then we’ll need to recognize the opposite, the very antonym for contentment, is disappointment. Disappointments will come just as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow. So we’ll need to purpose to exalt the One who never disappoints and remember that our peace and our joy are found in Him.

Kristen at weareTHATfamily.com summed this up nicely on her recent post:

Somewhere along the way, some people got into their minds that I’m someone to look up to. You can only look up to people you place on a pedestal. The rest of us are eye to eye, trying to carve out what God wants to accomplish in and through us.

I don’t belong on a pedestal. Most days I find myself under it.

I hope you’ll be forgiving of me when I let you down. I hope I’ll do the same and learn to let God work through my own disappointments. Ultimately, He’ll use them to point right back to Him if we’ll let Him.

Contentment is drinking every drop of grace from the moments. ~ Ann Voskamp