I Come From a Long Line of Interrupters
Okay, so maybe that title isn’t altogether accurate. Or maybe it is. I can’t be certain because there’s no in depth research that I’m aware of. However, if you consider my horizontal family line then the title is indeed accurate.
I am from a family of seven including my parents. We’re talkers. I only have one brother and even he is endowed with the gift of gab. We are often loud and talk over each other. Maybe it’s because we cannot get a word in otherwise.
It’s true—I am known to interrupt. Oh, I don’t say that lightly. But I am well aware of this ill-mannered interjection.
<– Do you see that? It’s right there on the house rules. Of course, this list with pictures added is for Sophie and Gavin and other little ones.
And adults, I suppose. I’d possibly interrupt you just to point that out.
I’ve never been one to shirk the owning of my weaknesses. And I’m not at all minimizing this offense. Nay, I’m owning it. And for those who have been the recipient of said offense, please consider this a formal apology.
I’m deeply sorry. {without interruption, of course}
I do feel, however, that in light of reasons recently assumed for this malfeasance, it is necessary that I explain. It’s natural that one might assume that the overlapping of his or her words with mine could be summed up to selfishness. Do I feel that what I have to say is of more importance? Am I readily dismissing their words?
Yesterday evening I heard a conversation between my almost seven-year-old daughter Sophie and one of her best friends. As Sophie recounted a recent event, her friend nodded, “Unh-huh . . . yea, yea . . .” in true teenage style half listening fashion. And then she flat out cut off Sophie’s conversation and changed the subject. I pondered this. And I can assure you that my attention span exceeds that of seven- and -eight-year-old girls. I dare say I have a number of amazing female friends who would concur that I indeed listen well. And also interrupt.
Contradiction, you might say? Perhaps. But this is my story. And I get to share it without arrest, breach, cessation. <– Was that too soon?
Listen. {Without interrupting . . .} In my family, we often have kids under foot. It’s loud and sometimes chaotic. Dull moments or boredom are rare. While discussing important information regarding health; deep spiritual matters; serious life circumstances and the like; our conversations can stop mid-sentence due to an ill timed request, argument, or even near hazard. Perhaps we’ve learned to adapt to this with what I like to call the female multi-conversation. Although, it does occur among a select group of males. Is it frustrating? You bet! Yet we’ve somehow adapted. To the onlooker it would likely appear that we are half interested at best and at times down right rude. I’d argue that this is not the case.
My weekly routine also entails the running after of three little boys including my grandson and my youngest daughter. Add to that a couple of college girls at home as well as friends and family sporadically stopping by. Now picture yourself in my home trying to communicate with me. If you know me well then that picture would be one in which my eyes dart from room to room, kid to kid, action to action. Sorta like an ADHD mosquito. I have no idea where that analogy came from. My thought was interrupted. Sorry.
Weekly to-do lists for our household as well as that of my oldest daughter {who all five of you reading this know is currently deployed} can be exhausting. Multi-tasking is a way of life most days. So my thoughts—not just my conversations—are often interrupted. What was I saying?
All of that to say that if you and I are in a conversation, then chances are I may be distracted despite my determination to overcome this weakness. And, no! we do not need to be in the midst of the throes of daily life for this to happen. This mindset seems to transcend to calmer environments. Apparently this habit is hard to break.
In addition to my home bred interrupting ways is what I like to consider a supplementary ability that I possess. Let me refer back to the above mentioned female multi-conversation. At least three of the five of you just rolled your eyes. I’m sure of it. Perhaps you may feel the term ability regarding this form of communication is used loosely. But have you tried it? Do you have within you the skills to discuss various topics interwoven throughout one conversation? What about with more than one person at a time? Many of my girlfriends and I communicate this way. Some might call this chasing rabbits. But we multi-converse. This skill should be offered as an elective course in high schools and universities.
My friends and I know that when the words of another trip over our own words, it is not always an offense. Of course, we also possess the great skill of tuning in to another while finishing our sentences. My family knows that when we communicate we may have to work extra hard to get our point across. And sometimes we just plain forget when things are calm and slow that we don’t need to fight to be heard.
Listen. {Again, without interruption. You wouldn’t want to miss this!} Even this blog has been interrupted for the past forever. The penning of my thoughts is not without constant interruption. I love to write and it is clearly an opportunity to be heard {by the five of you} without interruption. Yet this desire has been on hold due to life’s interruptions. It is frustrating indeed!
So I want to be clear that when you choose to communicate with me in person I count it an honor and a privilege. Unless you’re selling something. Besides World’s Finest Chocolate. You may have just noticed that my thoughts were interrupted. I hope you’re not offended. What was I saying? Oh yes! I hope you will leave my presence knowing that you are important. Your words are important. And hopefully if they are words that you desperately need heard we are sitting in some quiet restaurant. Or at the beach. However, should that not be the case, know that there’s a high probability of someone or some thing distracting me and, therefore; I may interrupt.
So, pardon the interruption. I’m working on it. If necessary, there’s always Duct Tape.
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