Sometimes we build walls so slowly, subtly, that we don’t even notice. Brick by brick, a wall that was once demolished wrecking ball style can be slowly built back up. It’s not always intentional, not always obvious. More like a glass wall. You see through it dimly unlike weighty brick.

I know. I’ve done this.

The realization was more like a revelation. As quickly as I saw it, I spoke. I had begun building a wall of false protection. “In case things went back to the way they were,” I confessed. And just the speaking of those words was a well of relief, flood of tears. It’s hard to gain clarity behind a veil.

What happened after the recognition and subsequent crumbling of the wall happened quickly and astounded me. Overwhelming love and compassion washed over me. Close intimacy is a given. But when you let go of walls you’ve built to protect yourself, you’re letting go of selfishness. The process of building becomes more and more about you.

Letting go frees you to love.

And to receive love.

The amazing response to my confession? “Remember, I’m short. So it takes me a lot longer to climb over,” said the man I love. “Next time maybe use a hedge.”

And then I laughed more than I’ve laughed in a long time.

Have you built a wall in your marriage? In a relationship?

Put down your brick. Tear down that wall!

And find peace . . .

For he is our peace, who hath made both one, and hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us ~ Ephesians 2:14