Dear Cammie & Courtney,

Lately I’ve been thinking about how you’ve grown into young women in the blink of an eye.  I close my eyes and rewind life in search of how it all happened so fast.  One night I tucked two little girls into bed and sang a song or two.  I don’t remember dozing but I woke up to find two young women who call me mom.

Although she is different in so many ways, Sophie is a daily reminder of life when you were both little.  But you’re not so little anymore.  Those little personalities have blossomed.  As I’ve tried to grasp the reality that Cammie is a new wife and mom and Courtney is seventeen, a junior in high school, both of you planning college. . . I can’t help but wonder if I taught you enough.  I see your strengths.  I know your weaknesses.  After all, I’m Mom.  I’ve watched you struggle.  Did I prepare you?

What parent doesn’t start out with the best of intentions?  New moms especially will often determine to stick to their plans and their lists.  Cammie, as I’ve watched you embrace your new role as mother, I’ve traveled back in time to those early days of motherhood.  So full with new joy over your little one.  So frustrated over the many opinions that pour in daily (sometimes hourly).  You want what’s best for your child and you hope that those around you—especially your loved ones—will trust that you can do this.  Learning to embrace the advice of the older, wiser women as the Bible instructs us while making your own decisions for your child is a balancing act.  You’re doing just fine, by the way.  Such a great mom.

Courtney, I watch you take charge of your life with such ambition and I marvel.  On the brink of adulthood, determined, you set goals.  On the go and sometimes over scheduled.  I sit back and cringe wondering how to teach you to maintain your own balancing act.  I’m not always so great at that.  But you have a drive that is all your own.  You have never been one to settle for second best.  I wonder if you know your best is always best?  I know you wonder if your hard work and wise choices are noticed.  You know, like the other stuff is?  It is.  I see.  Courtney, you can’t help but shine.

Have I told you both enough that you’re doing a great job?  I do see those wise choices.  I see your efforts and hard work.  And I also see when you struggle. I hurt when you hurt.  What we envision for our children doesn’t always unfold as we think or hope or plan.  We don’t foresee divorce.  One day we look back and wonder how each choice we’ve made has impacted you.  The big ones.  The little ones.

But parenting isn’t something we can just check off of our lists.  It’s often a complicated process of teaching your children life’s most important lessons all the while stumbling and falling yourself.  More than anything, I hope you both see in my weakness, His strength made perfect (2 Corinthians 12:9).  I pray the love of the Perfect Father shines through my lack.

In spite of weaknesses—both mine and yours—one thing I’ve realized is that I’m so grateful that you are the role models for little Sophie.  As I watch her grow, I’ll try not to worry as much about the list. Instead, I’ll try to just be.

Missed opportunities, wrong responses, regret. . . GONE!  It’s all under the blood.  Today is a new day.  New mercy.  Another day to be your mom.

I’m so grateful for the privilege.  I’m so proud to be called your mom.

Great songs have been written expressing the love of a parent, a mother, for her children.  But I’m sure these words have yet to be penned:

I love you more than Diet Coke, chocolate, sandy beaches, the colors of the ocean, Mixed Nuts, a clean house, my eye mask, ear plugs and even sleep.

Mom