Insert Grace Here

I’m resisting the urge to break out with…Crack killed Apple Jack…

But that’s not really what I feel so compelled to share with you.

It’s bad enough that we have to deal with today’s youth sharing all manner of boxers, briefs (yes, two or one of them still wear whitie tighties) and cracks as they plod along so awkwardly trying to keep their pants from falling below the knees.  That would just be too much—exposing the knees and all.  But tonight after Courtney’s rehearsal for her dance recital, we saw something much scarier from behind a GROWN MAN at Popeyes!

We decided to go inside to order since the drive-through seemed to wrap all of Denham Springs.  Courtney looked at me all bug-eyed as she attempted to stifle a chuckle.  I looked around to see what got her so tickled.  After scanning the employees behind the counter and the two customers ahead of us, I was still clueless.  “WHAT?” I asked.

She locked her eyes on the man in front of us.  “Just wait for it!  Just wait for it!”

As inconspicuously as possible, I glanced his way.  He leaned over the counter and continued chatting with the man next to him.

And then I saw it.  I’m not talking a little crack; it was more like a FULL MOON.  And NO undergarments!  Just two huge cheeks spilling over his shorts and enough crack to kill Apple Jack. 

We could hardly contain ourselves.  We tried to warn the young lady with the toddler behind us.  How is one supposed to respond to something like this? 

We were violated!  We could barely eat.  But it was Popeye’s.  So we ate.  Even though that image will forever be etched in our minds.  And we now live in fear that such exposure could lead to an outbreak of crack among our youth. 

Courtney suggests Popeye’s should put up a sign:

No Shirt?  No Shoes?  No Belt?  NO PROBLEM!